Alien Ghost Hunter Vs. Ghost Alien Hunter

  This was my pitch for Big Hollywood Movie Studio Inc. to have my dream movie made.  I've been funded $56 Million and have Elijah Wood and Natalie Portman cast in the two lead roles.  

  Carrot Top plays the computer voice on the ship in this opening, and the other two Ghost Alien Hunters are played by Porsha Portman (Natalies' younger sister) and Harry Connick Jr. in drag.  Narrated by Tommy Wiseau.

Alien Ghost Hunter Vs. Ghost Alien Hunter

Synopsis - A bounty hunter from another world who specializes in prey that are already dead has arrived on earth to capture his greatest prey yet - a sexy ghost that hunts aliens that come to earth to hunt prey.

[Outer space - Pan down to reveal earth]

Narrator - Space: big; dark; mostly boring.  Sometimes, though, something happens.  Mostly not, but sometimes, just sometimes, something so incredibly amazing happens that in threatens to undue everything we have come to accept as  reality.

(Space ship of gargantuan proportions passes over head, slow and looming.  Painted in massive letter on the side are the words "Alien Ghost Hunter")

[Interior of Space Ship, Cockpit.]

(The Alien Ghost Hunter (AGH) is seated at the helm, an uncomfortable looking chair replete with a plethora of navigational and life support equipment.  He is taller than a human, clearly, roughly 9', but inhumanly thin, deep green flesh over bipedal skeleton.  Over his head is a helms men bucket, which he uses for giving commands to the ship)

AGH - Ship

Ship (a sultry female voice) - Yes?

AGH - Have you obtained a lock on the GAH yet?  

Ship - Yes.  She is located in Hollywood California.  It is a city in a larger city in a state in a country in a continent on earth.  Shall I take you there?

AGH - Yes.  Because then I can begin to hunt her.  I can only hope she doesn't have any of the fabulous powers which so many aliens claim she has.  Also, I hope that she is easy to kill because, as you know, my one weakness is things which are difficult to accomplish.

Ship - You also tend to fair poorly against beautiful and/or lovely ladies who are dangerous yet have hearts of gold.

AGH - Which is something that makes her potentially a doubly dangerous threat, if the OTHER rumors we've heard about her are true.

(Ship and AGH laugh maniacally has scene fade transitions to a an exterior shot or a run down old house)

[Exterior Shot of Ghost Alien Hunters (GAH) haunted house HQ]

Narrator - What the Alien Ghost hunter has yet to realize is that the Ghost Alien Hunter does not work alone.  No, you see, hunting aliens is a dangerous job, even for the already deceased, so she employes a group of cohorts, each more sexy and dangerous and dead than the last!

[interior of house, a cobwebby but otherwise completely empty room.]

(The camera zooms to a particular empty spot in the room)

Narrator - Jessica!  Once a deadly lady ninja assassin for the Czar, fully trained in countless methods of death!

(Another random spot)

Narrator - Martha!  Once a deadly lady CIA spy working deep under cover in the jungle primeval, working to uncover the ancient and lost art of sorcery, now a deadly member of the team!

(A final and very dramatic zoom, topped with musical sting)

Narrator - And, of course, the Ghost Alien Hunter herself, Amanda, who has over 200 alien kills under her belt.  Together they form...the GAHs!